Recovery Versus Relapse

Recovery Versus Relapse

 

Can you be surprised by the fact that you have an eating disorder? Can you be surprised by the fact that despite having had two eating-disorder unit admissions, you have relapsed? Yes. Yes you can. And it’s shit.

HSE: Help? [try] Somewhere Else

HSE: Help? [try] Somewhere Else

I’m not a proper grown-up- I don’t have things like a mortgage, maturity or health insurance.

I will trill out the party-line; “I am blessed to live in a country that has free healthcare.” Sure, aren’t there women in America giving birth on the doorsteps of hospitals for the want of health insurance? Feel free to continue adding to this sentiment for as long as you please.

I may not be a proper grown-up that has health insurance, but I am a proper grown-up that’s worked and paid taxes from the age of sixteen. Apparently, those taxes pay for things like state pensions, government chauffeurs and our public health care system.

Honesty Post

Honesty Post

Am I the only person affected by an eating disorder that struggles this badly?

My story is not following my scripted arc; does this invalidate my experience?

Are positive stories with perfect outcomes the only ones worth sharing?

Week 1, Day 7; Discharge is Only the Beginning

Week 1, Day 7; Discharge is Only the Beginning

One of the magical powers all those who suffer with an eating disorder possess is that we genuinely believe we are different to everyone else. Not in a superior way, but in some way we are just not like other people. Other people need to eat. Other people would get sick and die if they didn't eat, but we're just not like that. We're different.

I'm Sorry, You Want Me to WHAT?

I'm Sorry, You Want Me to WHAT?

So here's the thing with Eating Disorders. They don't want to be discovered. They want to hide in the corners of your mind, taunting you, whispering to you, judging you, dictating to you, and, most importantly, making sure you keep their secret- because once that secret gets out there is no going back. 

NO BAD VIBES

NO BAD VIBES

Sometimes I think of my energy as being divided between two jars of sand- there are people who with every negative comment, snide remark about someone else, or a constant string of ‘cant’s’ take a grain of sand from my Positive Jar and transfer them to my Negative Jar. Then, there are the second kind of people, the ones who with every good intention, encouraging words or general comments about the beauty of the world who take a grain of sand with each positive comment from my Negative Jar and gift them to my Positive Jar.